Lost, alone and shattered

Have you ever had the feeling of being worthless? Feeling of being so alone? Feeling that there is no one who is there to listen to when u actually want to say something? Feeling of regret? Why does all these feelings come into play when we are sad or having a low tide in our life? We already have so much stress in our daily life, and still in those times of low self-confidence we think all this or rather our mind has all these things running. 

Somewhere in our lives we all have made one decision that we regret even if it turns out to be just fine. We believe that that one decision could have changed our life and whatever it would have been, would be because of our own decision. This regret that we have, can lead to some low self-confidence moments in our lives, when we fail to trust ourselves and our decisions. At this precise moment we want someone in our life to be there on our side, who just listens to us without saying anything, without asking anything. All we hope at that moment is a hug which consoles us that we have someone in our life in whom we can confide with all the secrets of our life. But sadly, very less percentage of us finds this type of a person in our life who is there for you at that precise moment. And if you have such a person, i would personally request you never to let him or her leave because you might not be lucky enough to find such a person again.

The poem which i am writing here, is one written when i was in a very low phase of my life and it is very ordinary, but speaks the heart

With a stone heart

i walk through everyday

the eyes wet with emotions 

never dry in anyway.

Hate to think

whats wrong or right,

still its me who is wrong

for every person in my life.

Hope to see a silver lining

in the clouds so dark,

the storm always strikes

where nothing is warm.

Life is a mess

what can i say,

its just that someone

should listen to me in anyway.

The hardest part is 

to cope up in life,

when u don't have

that 'someone' who is right.

Never meant to be so weak

never meant to get hurt,

i thought i kept myself aloof

from being an emotional fool,

still i am a human

even the animals can feel,

so could i really lock myself

and

be like a machine.

When i look at myself

i see a child gone wrong

no hope and

no scope for her to get along.

Curse myself everyday

till

i cannot feel the pain

of what i could change.

A transformed decision

a rightful chance

could have brought

everything i want.

Sometimes it makes me wonder that expressing oneself was the only way to tell that u can actually feel. If that is the case, i doubt myself to be human (ha ha ha). Expressing oneself is good but there are people who are not comfortable in sharing or expressing themselves, so that doesn't mean that they are some outer space species. These people (including myself) find themselves lonelier than the general lot and the requirement of the person becomes essential when they are at the point of breaking or when their threshold limit is surpassed. All i want to say is, all people are not alike. Every person has their own way of expression and it can not be that greatly modified according to someone else's convenience.

If u have such a friend, be there for them whenever u can, because they are more lonely than anyone even if they do not admit that.

Love 

Isha